she just drifted away from me....

so, i have nursed both of my children. not because i think everyone should or care how anyone else feeds their child, but because i could and it seemed logical. both of them took formula too, at first to sustain their enormity, and then when it was convenient, (i.e. long car rides to CA). Anna nursed until just over a year. when she stopped it was a natural thing. she just lost interest, enjoyed feeding herself instead, etc. anyway, a couple of months ago i noticed that Madeline was sleeping better at night the times she had a bottle versus nursing. i tried bumping up the time i spent feeding her, but she seemed more content with a bottle. so, i switched her night time feeding to a bottle and she returned to sleeping through the night. this is awesome of course! i am thrilled, really. however, she slowly rejected nursing altogether, steeling her sisters sippy cup at every turn. i gave her more and more bottles, not anticipating this outcome: i'm a little sad! don't get me wrong, i don't feel more bonded to my baby when she's nursing, we still cuddle while she takes a bottle. i just feel sad that yet another milestone for my second child has seemingly blown by unnoticed. she hasn't nursed for 4 days, so we're done. that's the end. she will never nurse again. i feel like soon i'll be packing her up for college. okay, that's extreme, but i look at her and can't believe she is almost 1. she's walking, she has words, teeth, opinions, it feels like she's growing so much faster than Anna. i know this is common for second children, i just wasn't prepared for my feelings. my little baby is more like a (gulp).......toddler! yikes.